Being a parent for the first time is a daunting and challenging task. You are however given 9 months to prepare for this awesome experience, and prepare I did... Nothing however could have prepared me for the feeling i felt when the doctor gave me my baby boy!
Jake had miconium stained liquor and was put into an incubator for his first 30 hours. The doctors told us that he was very squashed in my uterus and that because of the infection his features were very swollen. He had lots of wrinkles, a large mouth and very puffy cheeks and eyes. We nicknamed him our little Sharpay man.
I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life in the 2 months that followed and even termed it 'post natal euphoria.' Jake never latched and i expressed at every feed in order to give him my milk. Little did i know then that my uncompromising devotion to him and my desire to give him only the best would set the stage for the future...
In my eyes i had the perfect little boy so i started hating taking him for medical checks - he wasn't gaining enough weight at one stage, he was getting a non-responsive hearing test result and then at his 6 week check up, the doctor heard a heart murmur.
In the agonising days and weeks that followed Jake was diagnosed with narrowing of the aorta and pulmonary arteries (laymans terms), and ultimately Williams Syndrome.
Raw hollowness is the only way that i can describe the feelings that i felt during the month. But the support and love from family, friends and an internet support group has been truely inspiring! I have the most beautiful blue eyed boy who yes, will need more than most, but who has and i'm positive will continue to introduce me to a world i never imagined possible!
Below is a poem that my cousin wrote entitled 'To Denese' (my mom), but because he actually intend it to be for anyone and everyone, i am sharing it with you.
With lots of love and positivity,
Elana - Mother to Jake and wife to Darren, in Johannesburg, South Africa
One day as I was walking, I came upon a true child of the Lord
He was alert and in his own world, quite content and never bored
I asked him where he was going, for you, his answer I’ll record
First he told me that he was a blessing, his parents great reward
He said that he has so much to learn, to set his soul and spirit free
For children are golden possessions, to give family joys eternally
He came not only to be taught and obey, but to teach triumphantly
Told me to come play in his garden, try to climb to the top of his tree
Nothing, he said, will stop the world or keep it from spinning around
Though judgments may be clouded, by perspective, speed and sound
Even to people who try and spoil all your dreams, time must be found
Tell them to roam beside you, so they won’t be left in the background
He said he had chosen his path, and all his companions along the way
That he sees different places, has other friends and many games to play
And if he finds himself flat on his face, if some plans have gone astray
He picks himself up and rejoins the race, finding silver linings every day
For nobody can deny that this is the real story of life, in meaning and habit
Thus in his heart he cannot understand, he knows that you lose if you quit
Though you may query reason, it could take years to see why all pieces fit
So we all have to plan and invest and spend time, in order to gain a benefit
He said, that throughout time life has been for learning, it is always the same
We all do similar things, just some rules are different in each person’s game
This sometimes confuses the players, but there is nobody ever to take blame
For just as love is so different to us all, what you call things is only a name
I sensed that he was special in every sphere, and he knew why he was there
As it was planned very long ago with the utmost diligence, thought and care
For every action there is a reason, the good Lord knows and answers prayers
So look out and take note of his happiness, how easy his pleasure is to share
Brian Sacks 27/28 Aug 2008